The King of Excuses

A few weeks ago I was at dinner with a good friend and we were discussing what friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while discuss: How’s life, the job, the kids, etc. The answers to such generic questions are, well generic. That is of course until the two bottles of white wine that we had been drinking kicked in. Let’s face it, for the last 3 months I have been living in Stockholm solo and I had a tremendous amount on my mind. So what did we talk about – up first, my weight and the fact I had put so much back on.

Heading into my 30th birthday I had lost over 110 pounds. At some point after my birthday I honestly just lost interest in it. After 18 months of constantly working out and dieting I was just burned out. Since then I have gained a substantial amount of it back, not all of it, but a large chunk for lack of a better term. So what changed, mainly my motivation had. I had a number of motivating factors when I made my run at slimness over two years ago:

My Health – ironically enough though this was never a pressing factor.

My Esteem – let’s face it, being overweight puts you in a few embarrassing situations here and there. If you’ve ever had to ask a flight attendant for a lap belt extension you know what I mean.

The dating game - self explanatory.

Health and esteem gave way to long hours and weeks in London to the point that we were regularly clocking 65 hour plus hour weeks. And as for dating, well it only takes a few reality checks to let you know that maybe you should sit out on the sidelines for a while and not really bother. So if these three items are still present, what’s different 2 years later? I wish I knew I really do. The good news is that it’s a mental block and if I did it once I can do it again. But right now I just really don’t care and at the same time I couldn’t be more disappointed in myself. It’s a very strange feeling to wake up each morning and hate what you see in the mirror and at the same time just curl up back in bed rather than go to the gym. I can’t get motivated – excuse 1.

And now my favorite topic, dating. As with the gym, at this point it just doesn’t really matter that much to me. I don’t feel an overwhelming need to meet new people nor invest time in a relationship that will likely end when I move on to my next assignment. This year I really wanted to concentrate on my career and firmly establish myself within my company’s organization. The question becomes, is that a healthy way to think? I think so, the trick will be can it be turned off when it’s the appropriate time. I’ve been accused several times of using work as an excuse. Especially using international assignments as an excuse to avoid dating altogether because it’s easier to slip into the “well what’s the point I will only be here a few months” syndrome. For this year at least that was a conscience decision. What about next year? I don’t know, the problem with that line of thinking is that could be the same answer for the year after and after and after. What’s the point – excuse 2.

Perhaps developing a normal dating life depends on getting back in the gym. Or maybe I just try to apply logic to things that logic can’t be applied to. Towards the end of dinner my friend looked at me and said "You have more excuses then any person I know." Maybe that is true, but I sometimes find that just talking through a problem can actually be a catalyst for trying to solve it. Either way it made order ing that third bottle of wine that much easier.